Wednesday, October 14, 2009

The things Valuable in Life

Jake Hebert
Mr. B-G
English
Block: E

The things Valuable in Life

Are you one of those people who buy the newest and most expensive technology out? Or a person who gets a new cell phone, car, or ipod every month? Everyone likes to buy the expensive things and have the latest technology. But people have forgotten what is really valuable to them or a moment that is great but priceless. I value my cell phone that has a price tag and I value a day at Okemo and that is a priceless moment.
I wake up to my alarm clock going off and the clock says it's 6:15, October 18th. It’s still dark outside but there are lights on in my house. I'm still tired but I have a good reason to get out of my bed. It's Thursday morning, and I have school. But today isn't just a regular day, it's my birthday! By the end of today I will be a teenager I thought. Instead of mopping around like a normal morning I jumped out of my bed. I grabbed my towel and ran down the stairs. My older brother Max was in the kitchen with my mom who was making breakfast. They both said happy birthday to me in a joyful voice. I said thanks happily and excited.
As I walked to the bathroom to take my shower I wonder what my parents got me for my birthday present. I wondered if I was going to get what I asked for. I imagined that I got a cell phone, but I didn’t want to get my hopes up for anything. So when I was standing in the bathroom and day dreaming I forgot that I was suppose to be getting ready for school. I snapped out of it and hopped in the shower to clean myself. Next, when I was done with my shower I put on some nice clothes, a collared shirt and jeans, and went to the kitchen and sat down to eat my breakfast that my mom made. Chocolate chip pancakes, my favorite, with strawberries and a glass of Simply orange juice. As I was eating my dad and little sister CC came down the stairs and they both said happy birthday. I had too much food in my mouth to reply, so I nodded to them. Once I was done with my breakfast and my sister was finished we both walked down our hill to the bus stop.
It was a cold morning at the bus stop. My friend Kevin was just coming down the street to go to the bus stop. He yelled happy birthday Jake very load. I laughed and said thanks Kevin. Sean, another friend of mine, and Maddie were waiting at the bus stop also. They both said happy birthday and I thanked them. As we waited for the bus together they asked me what I wanted and what I thought I was going to get. I just said I’m not sure and said that I really wanted a cell phone. My friend Sean’s birthday was a couple weeks ago and he got his first cell phone, he was very excited that he got what he wanted. When I got to school a lot of people knew it was my birthday and everyone I knew wished me a happy birthday. School and my classes went by slow and I was ready to leave and go home. It was dismissal finally, I got on my bus to go home. I was happy that I was out of school and I was in a great mood not just from my birthday but also I didn’t have any homework. I was in the 7th grade at the time and the teachers didn’t give too much work.
Finally I was done waiting. My family and I had a great dinner, my mom made tacos with a salad. When we finished eating it was time for my present. My mom left the dinner table and went and got a small, rapped, rectangular gift. She brought it over to me and I took the ribbon off of the small gift. I tore the rapping paper off and the first thing I saw was Verizon Wireless. I got a cell phone! I was so excited to get my first cell phone. I got what I wanted. We finished my birthday with a wonderful dessert of cake and ice cream. I went to bed that night happy and had a great gift from my family that I value a lot.
Its 2:24 p.m., I’m in math class, my last class of the day. I’m waiting for the announcement to go off for dismissal. All 8th graders please leave for your buses. I’m so excited to have the weekend off. Each weekend in the winter my family and I go up to Ludlow Vermont, Okemo Mountain. It’s the ski resort that my family owns a house on. On Fridays we go up to our house or our friends condo their and have a fun and exciting weekend. We pack our car and set off for the two and a half hour drive to Vermont. It’s worth it once your up in Ludlow and on the mountain. For this weekend’s weather at Okemo the weather man said that theirs going to by great skiing conditions for the mountains in Vermont with snow during Friday night, throw Saturday and including Saturday night. Everyone is excited to snowboard and ski in a foot of powder.
When we get in Ludlow the town is quiet. There are a couple of stores open and some street lights on. You can see the snow falling. Ludlow is a small town but very nice. It has a lot of country stores like a bakery and deli and it also has great restaurants, some cheap and some high class. It’s got your gas station and your grocery store. It was beginning to snow harder and harder as the night went on. This weekend my dad, mom, I, and my sister went up together with another family, the Senicles, that we are good friends with. They have two kids, a girl and a boy. Ones my sister’s age, Taylor and the other one, Tyler is younger. We stayed at their Condo which was very nice.
We didn’t talk a lot that night because the parents were very tired and they wanted to get some sleep because if there is a foot of snow on the trails then we are getting first tracks which means were getting up very early. Where we slept there were two bunk beds, the parents got their own rooms. Before we all went to bed we checked the weather, the forecast for tonight and tomorrow was snow. Everyone was excited for a long and fun day tomorrow but we needed to get some rest. We all went to bed and fell asleep fast because we were tired from the long ride here.
I woke up to the smell of breakfast. It was 6:00 a.m. The moms cooked bacon, eggs, ham, pancakes, and French toast with fresh fruit and orange and cranberry juice. The breakfast everyone needed to have for a long day. There was a foot of snow outside and on the mountain! The lifts open at 7:00 a.m. and our goal was to be the first in line at that time. As we ate our breakfast we imagined snowboarding and skiing with such good conditions. Once we finished our delicious breakfast we got on our gear as fast as we could so we could get first tracks. When I was done putting my gear on I stepped outside, there was snow everywhere, and it was still snowing! I struggled to walk to the trail because there was so much snow, the snow was up to my knees. The snow was past Tyler’s knees. I had to carry his skis so he could make it through the snow. That day we had a blast on the mountain, we had so much fun we didn’t even come into the Condo for lunch. The conditions were epic!
There are things in life that you value and there are things in life that you don’t value. I value both my cell phone that cost money and a snowy day at Okemo Mountain that is priceless. They both are things that put a smile on my face. I use my phone a lot, I usually bring it wherever I go. A day at Okemo with our family and friends is like a day in paradise. We have had so much fun with each other. My cell phone and my day at Okemo are alike. They both are fun and there things I enjoy. If I had to pick my cell phone or a day up in Vermont I would have to pick a day in Vermont because I can’t explain how much fun it is. It’s a “priceless” moment. My cell phone was an important gift and I use my cell phone all the time, to talk to my friends, to make plans, or just to text for phone but snowboarding and skiing in powder is amazing and fun.

3 comments:

  1. What does the author seem to be saying about what is and is not valueable? what the author is saying is what is vaueable is whatever you care about most. also not only the expensive new technology but the "priceless" moments in life. for example what the suthor values most is his cell phone and days spent up at his condo in Okemo. these are both "priced" and "priceless" things that he values.

    Which of these two items did i find most vividly described? what is found was most vivdly described is the times Jake spends at his condo in Okemo. this is because Jake puts a lot of detail into this part of the essay. he also explains why it is so important to him. i like this part of the story because it shows a little about not only what Jake likes to do but what he is like as well. Also the routine he has when he is up there and why he likes being up there and snow boarding so much.

    In general what are the essays overall strengths? One of the essays overall strengths is the dteail. In all the parts of this essay the author includes a lot of detail. this is important because it makes me more interested in the essay and explains it well. also the flow of the essay. this essay is well organized so that it flows well. this is very important because it makes it easier for me to follow along with it.

    What is one specific piece of advice i would give to improve this eassy? one specific this i would say is proof read it. that way there would be less grammer mistakes. without these grammer mistakes it is much easier to read certin parts of this essay. but overall i think this essay was very well writen and Jake did a great job on it.

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  2. Jake is saying that what makes things valuable depends on the person and what value they put upon that object. Jakes most valuable things were his cell phone and his time at Okemo mountain.

    I thought Jake described snowboarding at Okemo more ividly than his cell phone. He describes the weather and the tone he gets while being at Okemo. I liked how he described the mountain and also his condo they stayed in.

    One strength in the essay is probably his description of things. Once again, he gave good detail that provided a good picture of what it was like. Also, I liked how you layed out the day from ending at school to going to Okemo.

    In the future I would consider revising. For example you said "My dad, mom, I, and my sister.." which is incorrect. Also you referred to your mom as "The moms bacon, eggs..." which I don't understand why you called her "the mom". P.S- Jon you should also considering revising lol

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  3. What Jake seems to be saying is valuable is his cell phone and a weekend up at Okemo Mountain. What i think he values most is his day up at Okemo. The reason i say that is because in the last paragraph he says he does. That is what he is valueing.

    What Jake seems to be more vividly describing is the say up at Okemo. One reference point is how he is describing the weather conditions. He talks about how the snow is up to his knees. He also says there is a foot of snow! That is what he is more vividly describing.

    What one of the essays strengths are is how he describes each day. He describes the events leading up to getting his phone. He also describies the events leading up to the day at Okemo. That is one of the essays strengths.

    One piece of advice i would give to jake is i'm going to agree with Jon that he should read it over. He has a couple of grammer and spelling mistakes. But other then that, it was a good overall story. Nice Job.

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