The Contender Alfred
A Child Called "It" David
Setting: Alfred and David's Town
It’s around 11:00 PM on a Friday and Alfred is hanging around with his best friend James outside Epstein’s grocery store. “Hey Alfred, how do you like working here?”
“It’s alright, I sweep and clean up.”
While they keep talking a boy runs around the corner and trips right in front of them. He’s about 12 years old and has cuts and bruises on him. His shirt is ripped and he’s not wearing any shoes. He smells like body odor. Alfred and James both look at each other and then look at the young boy.
Alfred says, “Hey, why are you out so late?”
David says, “I snuck out of my house, I had to.”
“What do you mean you had to?”
David didn’t want to tell the boys about his Mother abusing him. Last time he told the Principle and the teachers about his Mom’s issues they gave her a call. He didn’t eat for 3 days.
“I just had to, okay?”
“Leave him alone James” Alfred said.
“I was just asking.”
The three boys talked for a little bit longer. It’s about 12:30 PM and it’s too late. The police would be out. They planned to see each other tomorrow and meet at Epstein’s. Alfred and James both walked home together. David had been thinking the whole time that he has to go back home sometime. He didn’t want to go back home to his Mom. She was a monster.
He went to Central Park for about a half an hour and then started to walk home. Luckily when he got home and walked in his house everyone was already asleep. He went down to the basement were he had to spend most of his time. The basement smelled bad. He slept on an old busted up couch. He had a room but he was kicked out and forced to sleep down there. He thought about what was going to happen tomorrow. He then went to bed.
It’s almost 8:00 AM and Alfred is getting up to take his morning run. He grabs a quick snack and a water bottle from the fridge. David wakes up from his Mom already yelling at his brothers not having their chores done. “David, get up!” He already knows he’s not getting breakfast today.
He walks up the stairs and opens the door, “David no breakfast this morning, that’s your punishment.” David didn’t say anything. Everyday he had to clean the dishes and take out the trash. If his Mom was in a really bad mood he would have to clean the bathrooms. After his Mom left David went to go meet up with Alfred. Alfred was done with his run and already waiting for David. They were in front of the Epstein’s store. “Hey David, how’s it going?” “Alright, I guess.” “That’s good, you want to go and get some breakfast?” “Yeah I do!” “Alright, let’s go.” Both the boys walked to a diner, where they talked about Alfred boxing and David’s Mom. They had a good time with each other and where going to be friends.
hey jake..
ReplyDeleteok i think your story was really good. A part that stood out for me was when you called David's mom a monster! She was seriously a beast!! You used a lot of detail describing David. I thought that was good.
My fav. part of the story was the part when the boys asked David to breakfast, i don't know why but i thought it was pretty funny!!
The only thing bad about your story were some parts were a little confusing. For example, the part where whe cops were gonna come out and the David decided to walk around Central Park for a while. I thought it was kinda random. But, i've never read the book before so i don't know if the like did that often or what. I think that you could have used a little more detail in describing the basement.
i likes the conversations between the characters. Thought they were pretty life like. The only thing i have to say thought is that the boys never asked David his name. Which was a little werid.
Just for next time make sure you use a little more detail.
awesome story!!!! ...:)